Day 6 of the Zombie Apocalypse. Internet is down. No electricity or water. Food supplies down to a couple of frozen pop tarts and a quart of Lemoncello. Running low on ammo. Rumors of cannibalism in the area. Hidden the knives because wife is looking at me strangely. Used up my house’s emergency battery backup watching all my Honeymooners and Stooges DVDs. This may be my last message.
Now, don’t you feel better about where we are?